The Year To Be Brave.

The title of this blog basically sums it up. I've decided this year is my year to be brave, every single day. It might have to do with the fact that I'm going on auditions almost every other day now..there's no place for fear or feelings of inadequacy in an audition. Not to say I used to be timid, but I've had many moments where I've let my mind/fears/anxiety get the best of me. I feel like I've discovered a whole new..or I guess improved version of myself when I stick to this no fear mantra and feel extremely liberated by this discovery. I respond to situations and the world in a positive way and I've really noticed that I receive positive response back. This might sound like a weird thing for someone to think but when I start to trip myself up I find myself thinking, you know what, who cares..honestly..who cares..the world could explode right now and then what..you're afraid of this audition/person/whatever and think about that compared the vast grandness of this universe and how minimal my situation is in relation to that. Not that I mean to degrade or downplay the meaning of what it is I'm anxious about, but I just think about those comparisons and it makes me feel joyful and laugh to myself about how silly it is to be anxious or fearful about my situation.

Anyways, that said, not many people know how obsessed I've always been with the written word. Hence my obsession with Shakespeare, Bob Dylan, Poe, Allen Ginsberg....I could go on and on and on...song lyrics, and just about any written words/spoken words that make me think or draw my ear to them. I've written poetry for just about as long as I can remember (not very consistently but in general)..I think 3rd grade was the first one I remember writing, about eating vegetables or something like that..haha. I majored in journalism, which also involves words and storytelling, but if I had picked another major it would have been poetry or creative writing. Even when I was in school I always wanted to pursue it as a second major but I guess I felt I never had the time. So there is a brief history of my word obsession.

This all leads to my decision to start posting some of my poetry. I have pages and paaaaages of the stuff and it suddenly started looking so lonely to me, sitting there trapped in a notebook. I'm not sure if I will post mostly videos or the words or what yet..but in staying with my no fear mantra I decided to read and record my first post out loud for everyone to hear..scary. It's funny how different it is reading someone else's written words out loud compared to when you are reading your own writing. So here are my words, spoken out loud by me with, deep breath, no fear =)